Elevator Pitch 3
The feedback I received was as follows:
I was told that the facts I included were good. I was told to use props but I had used a prop for my first elevator pitch and was told that the prop looked silly so I took it out. I was told to make my pitch longer, which I agreed on. My pitch was too long the first time and too short the second time. This time I think it was just right. Another suggestion I received was to do something in the first 10-15 seconds to grab the viewer's attention but I think that my facts and numbers were good at doing that. I was also told that my catchy phrase at the end was good so I kept it in.
Changes
For this final elevator pitch, I made a few changes. I added a couple of sentences to make it longer and explain how my service is useful with examples of what it could be used with. I stood closer to the camera so that the viewer could see me better. I also looked less at my script because I had memorized more of it. I found that this time took less takes to get correctly because I had what needed to be said in the back of my mind.
Kelsey,
ReplyDeleteI like the intro to your elevator pitch as I feel you grabbed my attention more than the past two. The numbers and facts you stated in the pitch were spot on and beneficial to your idea. I think what you stated that people can rent devices for a party is a great idea. I could see myself renting for a party and like how you included that. For some insight, I would work on centering yourself in the camera and focusing on looking into the camera more as throughout it seemed you kept looking to the left at notes or your facts.
Hey Kelsey,
ReplyDeleteGreat pitch I think you did a great job informing the audience of all the benefits of your idea, it was a lot of good information. I agree with Alex that you probably should have put your notes behind the camera so it wasn't as obvious that you were looking at it during your pitch. I think that the timing was just right, like you said and also liked how you responded to your critiques and took out the props.